Former Gears of War and Unreal Tournament designer Cliff Bleszinski has opened up about his struggle with alcoholism and the impact it has had on his life and career in game development thus far, as he considers a possible return to game creation. Bleszinski is currently four months sober after suffering an alcohol-related seizure in March of this year.
It’s worth reading the developer’s account of his long battle with alcohol addiction in an interview with Brian Crecente for Level 80which he traces back to his time working on Unreal Tournament in the early 2000s. “The Gears of War trilogy was largely developed by me,” Bleszinski said. “I was, at that point, a functioning alcoholic.” He added that he subsequently became “an inactive alcoholic.”
“You go to your GDCs, you go to your E3s, you spend three nights in a row partying or wine dining with your partners, and then you have bars in the hotel lobby,” the developer recalls, alluding to a culture of drinking in the industry that hasn’t helped, though he accepts personal responsibility for his addiction. “My tolerance was so high that other developers had some and I would get all this confidential information and remember it. It was almost like my superpower for a while.”
Naturally, the failure of the shooter LawBreakers and Boss Key Productions, the studio he co-founded with Arjan Brussee to make it, hit Bleszinski very hard. The developer has a written list of things he says went wrong in hindsight, including the choice not to bring on another Gears veteran, Rod Fergusson, as a co-founder. Overall, the result was a “snowball of failure” that “was set in motion so that Concord could screw up.” “I’ll never forget that day when I had to stand in front of the company for an emergency meeting and tell them that this whole thing wasn’t working,” Bleszinski recalled. “It was one of the hardest days of my life.”
After Boss Key closed, the developer “got to the point where (he) had nothing to get out of bed for.” Fortunately, he is now doing better and plans to return to game creation full time. However, it is clear that he will not be doing PvP play. “Good luck to everyone in this space,” he said. “I’m more of a fan of PvE these days. Horde mode saved Gears 2, and I believe space is still green because players just want to connect online with friends and shoot stuff, no frills, no questions asked.”
Overall, it’s nice to hear that Bleszinski was able to get the help he needs to turn a corner in terms of his addiction, and I hope that whether or not he chooses to get back into gaming, he’ll be able to continue living a healthy life.
